List of Similes

Enjoy our list of similes! If you can think of any new ones, please email them to: info@funnysimiles.com:

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze
As useful as a chocolate teapot
As useful a a chocolate fireguard
He had a face like a bucket of smashed crabs
Like a cat on a hot tin roof
He was articulate like a lorry
I'm off like milk
As subtle as a flying mallet
Teeth like a burnt out fuse box
Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to be on my toes
His teeth were like broken Tic Tacs
He looked like he had brushed his teeth with Marmite
He was sweating like Pavarotti on a treadmill
She's got a face that could make an onion cry
He's got a face like a stuntman's knee
As agile as a monkey
As useful as concrete slippers in a swimming pool
As alike as two peas in a pod
As annoying as nails scratching against a chalkboard
As bald as a baby's backside
As bald as a badger
As bald as a coot
As beautiful as nature
As big as a boat
As big as a bus
As big as an elephant
As blind as a bat
As blind as a mole
As bold as brass
As brave as a lion
As bright as a button
As bright as a new pin
As bright as day
As bright as the sun
As busy as a beaver
As busy as a bee
As busy as a cat on a hot tin roof
As calm as a millpond
As clear as a bell
As clean as a hound's tooth
As clean as a whistle
As clear as crystal
As clear as mud
As cold as ice
As common as dirt
As cool as a cucumber
As crazy as a loon
As cunning as a fox
As cute as a baby
As cute as a button
As cute as a cup cake
As damp as the salty blue ocean
As dead as a doornail
As dead as a dodo
As deaf as a post
As delicate as a flower
As dense as a brick
As different as chalk from cheese
As drunk as a lord
As dry as a bone
As dry as dust
As dull as dishwater
As easy as A.B.C.
As easy as pie
As fast as a racecar
As fat as a hippo
As fat as a pig
As fit as a fiddle
As flat as a pancake
As free as a bird
As fresh as a daisy
As funny as a balloon
As gentle as a lamb
As good as gold
As hairy as an ape
As happy as a clown
As happy as a lark
As happy as Larry
As happy as a rat with a gold tooth
As hard as nails
As hard as rock
As high as a kite
As hoarse as a crow
As hot as a fire cracker
As hot as hell
As hungry as a bear
As hungry as a wolf
As innocent as a lamb
As keen as mustard
As large as life
As light as a feather
As light as air
As likely as not
As loud as a lion
As lowly as a worm
As mad as a hatter
As mad as a hornet
As mad as the march hare
As merry as a cricket
As modest as a maiden
As much use as a yard of pump water
As naked as a baby
As neat as a pin
As nutty as a fruitcake
As obstinate as a mule
As old as dirt
As old as the hills
As pale as death
As pale as a ghost
As patient as Job
As plain as day
As pleased as Punch
As poor as a church mouse
As poor as dirt
As pretty as a picture
As proud as a peacock
As pure as snow
As pure as the driven snow
As quick as a wink
As quick as lightning
As quick as silver
As quiet as a mouse
As rich as gold
As right as rain
As round as a barrel
As round as a circle
As round as a sphere
As safe as houses
As rare as hen's teeth
As sensitive as a flower
As sharp as a needle
As sharp as a razor
As sick as a dog
As sick as a parrot
As silent as the dead
As silent as the grave
As silly as a goose
As sleepy as a koala
As slippery as an eel
As slow as molasses
As slow as a snail
As slow as a tortoise
As slow as a turtle
As slow as a wet weekend
As sly as a fox
As smart as an owl
As smooth as silk
As snug as a bug in a rug
As sober as a judge
As soft as a baby's bottom
As solid as a rock
As solid as the ground we stand on
As sound as a bell
As sound as a pound
As sour as vinegar
As steady as a rock
As sticky as jam
As stiff as a board
As still as death
As straight as an arrow
As strong as an ox
As stubborn as a mule
As sturdy as an oak
As sure as death and taxes
As sweet as honey
As tall as a giraffe
As tight as a drum
As thick as a brick
As thick as two short planks
As thin as a rake
As thin as a toothpick
As timid as a rabbit
As tiny as a grain of sand
As tough as leather
As tough as nails
As tough as old boots
As tricky as a box of monkeys
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party
As white as a ghost
As white as a sheet
As white as snow
As wise as Solomon
As wise as an owl
As welcome as Bill Gates in the Apple office
She had a face like a bag of spanners
He looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp
As tidy as a marine's bunk
As crooked as a roach leg
As useless as a solar powered flashlight